By Hudi Charin, third year History of Art

Taking my mechanical engineer boyfriend to Fasten Island was a risky move. I thought he was ready. I was incorrect.

Taking my mechanical engineer boyfriend to Fasten Island was a risky move. At that place's scientists who capeesh the arts. There's scientists who don't actually appreciate the arts. And then there'southward Zac, who thought The Odyssey was written by Homer J Simpson.

"he coped pretty well with the National Gallery, using Snapchat to face swap with Rembrandt"

Nosotros've braved more traditional art galleries in the past. He coped pretty well with the National Gallery, using Snapchat to face swap with Rembrandt, which you could argue is a postmodern interpretation of the medium of the self portrait. I thought it was maybe time he took on contemporary, conceptual fine art. I thought he was ready. I was wrong.
Hudi-@-Thebes
The author, affectionate some art. Prototype credits: Epigram / Hudi Charin.

Spike Island is a gallery and studio space in Bristol, showcasing gimmicky artists' works. Benoît Maire's Thebes is currently on display. Spike Island describes the creative person as a 'visual philosopher' whose works 'question the origin of humankind and the objects we produce.' In other words, this was arty fartyness at its best, a lot of abstract paintings and abstruse ideas.

"this was arty fartyness at its all-time, a lot of abstruse paintings and abstract ideas"

As shortly as we walk in, Zac tries to get to grips with what exactly it is he's seeing. The entire beginning room is filled with paintings of clouds, apparently 'cartoon a parallel betwixt painting and the ever changing forms of clouds'. There'southward canvas after canvass of splodges of color, each 1 a slightly different interpretation of the concept, moving between figuration and abstraction. Zac looks around hopefully and somewhen says 'so this is… Impressionism?' Nope, merely squeamish effort.

I brainstorm to try to explain the difference between the 19th century art move and Benoît Maire's artworks, suggesting that there may indeed be some parallels … simply Zac'due south already wondered off to the far side of the room, continuing far too close to a painting. I grab his arm to pull him back - just because there isn't a rope to end yous touching, it doesn't mean they want your nose impaling the canvas.

Zac-1
A wild mechanical engineer exterior his natural habitat. Paradigm credits: Epigram / Hudi Charin.

Zac is looking at the splodges of pigment and, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, 'I sense a mutual theme,' he says afterwards a while.

'Oh yes?' I say encouragingly. Volition he have spotted the references to abstract expressionism, the drawing on action painting, the blurring of the lines between imagination and reality?

'There'southward these big blimps in all of them.' Says Zac, pointing at a particularly large purple splodge.

'Er, yes, I suppose at that place are.' I mutter, trying to think of a way to chronicle this back to an art historical discourse - but Zac'southward already plodding off into the next room.

We're met by a video playing on loop. It's an amalgamation of a few different clips, only information technology mainly consists of Maria Sharapova repeatedly hitting a tennis ball whilst the audio echoes around the gallery.

'I would actually get insane if I had to listen to this every day.' Zac says, far too loudly. The volunteer whose chore that literally is gives us a glare and we scuttle away.

"In that location's scientists who don't actually appreciate the arts. And then there's Zac, who thought The Odyssey was written by Homer J Simpson"

Zac starts laughing next to ane particular piece. The photo shows a man leaning over a big glass ball, belongings a kind of metal measuring tool.

'I dear that.' Zac'due south saying gleefully.

The art historian within me is delighted. Okay, then the cloud paintings weren't for him, and the tennis video was a scrap weird, only perchance this will speak to him.

'What exercise you similar about it?'

'Information technology's so ridiculous. That's a caliper, it would obviously never exist able to measure the bore of that sphere, I mean, look the arms of the caliper are way likewise narrow…'

No way take we come to an fine art gallery merely for him to explain something sciencey to me. On to the side by side room.

Zac-2
'I would actually go insane if I had to listen to this every day.' Image credits: Epigram / Hudi Charin.

It is full of objects in various arrangements, industrial tools, found objects and Maire'due south own artworks. The guide tells us the room questions 'the condition of the object, and how we categorise form in art, culture and nature.' Zac, helpfully, categorises it all equally rubbish.

"I await down at the exhibition guide, gobsmacked. He's right"

The concluding room is a screening of the word 'origin', a film showing a man going most his mundane life. We watch the video and I'm completely bemused. Surely Zac will be too.

'I noticed a theme.' He says.

'Oh, aye?' I inquire, dreading his response.

'Eggs. There'due south a lot of eggs in the motion-picture show, I think it's talking nigh the never-catastrophe bicycle of life.'

I await down at the exhibition guide, gobsmacked. He's right.

Zac-3
Zac and some 'rubbish'. Epitome credits: Epigram / Hudi Charin.

We leave the exhibition and I'm a fleck shell-shocked - could my anti-art swain actually have spotted something that I didn't? Does this change the whole dynamic of our human relationship? As we become, he points to a fire extinguisher.

'So, what? Am I supposed to take this is art, too?'

Perchance things are back to normal after all.

For a more than intelligent response to the exhibition check out Epigram Arts' 'proper' review.

(Featured image: Epigram / Hudi Charin)

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